Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
