Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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