God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
We have so much sex to catch up on
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
