He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
