I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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