At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
there is glitter all over my balls
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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