i permit you to call me
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
