As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize