Its about making memories worth repressing
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
