Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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