hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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