He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
