Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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