There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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