Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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