apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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