Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
