____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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