is your mom at the bar?
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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