Already got asked if we're dating
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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