i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
