We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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