i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
