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I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
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