a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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