I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Someone signed my nipple.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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