We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
