We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
