I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
