Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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