This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
