Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
