I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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