I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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