I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
