I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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