On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
