I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
