I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
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she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
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I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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