Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
they're like a gay fantastic four
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
