K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize