shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
