I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize