I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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