Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
