Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize