Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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