we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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