TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
