That reminds me...we need to get swords
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
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Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
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My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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