It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
