How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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