At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
