her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
