Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Randomize
