let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
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